BROKEN

Shards of glass shatter is the life
Battered mirror pieces reflecting
Seven years of tears, fears, with best efforts
Tried to steer clear, swerving and dodging
The pot holes, oh the woes
Of our choices, voices of opinions
Nothing more than…
Pieces of me scattered everywhere
Reflections that stare; fragments laying there
As I’m trapped in my thought; searching for a way out
feeling my way through those dark thoughts, shout
echoes of I told you so; residual dismay lingering
around me, the perpetrators pointing and fingering me
as the scapegoat so they can gloat at me trapped
in my thoughts searching for a way out of…
Here is where I’ve been treading life wading in
My own sin that begun not how I began
But how you began; the start of a fairytale
You bought into a media spin; envisioning
One’s junk as another treasure using your
Stick to measure your own pleaser
While you the hypocrite; grinin and skinin perpetuating
The lies, with cries of injustice inflicted on them.
Not by my hand only their command, words spoken
That leaves others like themselves not whole, just broken.

I AM...

I am…

The one; your sun that lights up
The day that just shines on you; until…
The nights; back drop to stars guide you to…
The love you want; but couldn’t weather
The trials of life, weathered, beaten into…
The soil that’s been spoiled; expectin it to bring forth
The life given freely; spent selfishly, what a pity
The love you want; sands on the beach countless they are
The infinite measure of pleasure; so you go without
The whisper in the night (I love you); enticing you not to fight
The feeling you been craving; just wanting to be…
The key strokes; that stokes the fire burning within
The fantasies hidden; you been fearing giving
The love once marred, scared bared from
The entitlements of your desires you have had
The pleasure of experiencing; unconditionally
The love of a man…I am

In GOD's Hands

...Is where I put my faith, hopes, dreams, and all that I am; so…
When I’m at my wit’s end; I put it in God’s hands
When I don’t feel like helping a friend; I put it in God’s hands
I mean, I do what I can, and can barely deal with my own, that’s why I put it in God’s hands.

My neighbor in need isn’t a friend in deed; because from what I see they never helped me so why even bother to help my fellow man…I put it in God’s hands.

Plus I’ve been burned before helping folks that come to my door…yeah, yeah, yeah… I know I’m not supposed to keep score. But I’m only human; made of the flesh, born to be selfish…that’s why I’m not perfect I guess. I’m just a man…so that’s why I leave things in God’s hands

…When sick as a dog and can’t stand
…Or don’t want to go out my way when I can
…If it inconvenience me and my plans
…Or when placed upon me, too many demands
…Or when I just feel as though its outta my hands...I put it in God’s hands

Man-kind I once thought to be an oxymoron but now I understand because all we have to do is nothing but, leave it in God’s hands…

I Love You Not...

I love you not…
Because your hearts’ so true but because you’re my sunset I will love you not because of what you do; I enamored by you because you’re my rising sun on a new day the second chance to a new way; of life. Melody in my heart; you the words to my music, loves’ ecstasy. What can I say it’s in the way you look at me; wondering what do you see.

Atop the mountain for miles I see, from this peak I speak my love for thee. It echos in the heavens like you do in my heart. Clouds give way to your rays of love feeding life to my soul making each day whole; it never ceases only increases my devotion to such notions like;

Walks on the beach hand in hand
Pillow fights in the sand
Breakfast in bed; desert where we stand
Trips unplanned to places so grand
But the biggest notion of all I dare to be your man

The feeling is mutual, I’m sure of that. Only because you’re sitting there reading this smiling right back. But I realize I’m not the one for you, oh…don’t think I didn’t get a clue. ‘Cause if I was, there’d be no hesitation. You and I both know it’s not about the situation, not location so you say; but the “money” to my dismay…can’t escape the innate desire in times of need only “money” inspires. Those liars of the heart; who want a life more than love, will never experience love more than life is what I was taught…so that’s why I love you not…

Thing called Satisfaction

It’s like that thing that happens after the fact
Not before; did we think before we act
Not before the fall; but, after all, what sense
Would that make; then there’d be no consequence
To this life spent acting without conscience

Twisted is the maze got me wanting to blaze
Up in smoke, my life dreams, emotional kindling
Setting me a fire, roasting my heart burning my soul
Dammit this shit takes a toll on my wallet taxin my mind
Putting in my two cents, although nothing but chump change
Left for me to spend, but the chump change is better than
No change; or stagnated with dogmatic approaches
Never pragmatic is the a dogma that coaches the masses
How long will this shit last I ask.

Silent mouths of a mime, pictionaries contrary to the mind
Drawn by life makes me weary of spoken words and silent actions
I'd prefer silent words with spoken actions that prevoke reactions
by invoking the power of attraction…still searching life for
Some, not a lot, just a little guaranteed satisfaction…

Dinner For Two

The anticipation is what drives me crazy, thoughts

Rolling around in my mind, you amaze me; caught

In the moment; between ready to order and pass the salt

Never expecting my soul to be blazing; no need to put it out

And extinguish what you started; yeah it’s your fault…lol

Eventually, indelibly this came to be, unbeknown to me

And her if I can presume as much; nah I’m trippin, need to shut up

Thinkin to far ahead even back then in my head, when

On the stairs I seen her, everything a blurr but,

Not her, crystal clear my view, there me and you; Dinner for two!

Homie, Lover, Friend

That’s what you are; no matter where you are
Whether near or far; you are…
Hell when you piss me off
You don’t realize you’re getting me off
With your state of mind when we fought
And laugh at how silly we are in our thoughts

When we relate in conversation isn’t it amazing
How we get it without the details of explaining
Over and over with metaphors or conjectures
We explore life together through dialogue and more
With laughter in between the cryin, sighin,
While tryin to make sense of this dense life
You and I defy the nonsense with our common sense
Hence those who know us hate us because they ain’t us
But trust they wish to be all they can’t be like we
Because what they can’t see within hating our silly grin
What it is to be Homie Lover Friends….

Daddy’s Lil Girl

Once cherished and held to such high esteem

My lil princess; embodied my life dreams

So I thought

I forget embodied she is; independent

The life I cherish; but I’m just a step-parent

Not biological, so its logical

Not my life dreams she embodies

But her own and now she’s grown

Acting like the think she knows

It’s shows in choices she makes in her life

following her desires; nolonger heeding advice

And now regrets are a mother%$#

Can’t take back what’s said; games over

You got what you wanted so you think

Now it seems you lost everything in a blink

Of a teary eyed man jdad it’s sad to imagine

All that’s left of his world is memories of Daddy’s Lil Girl…

Divine

Divine

Throughout this life of mine

there's beauty in everything I find

but then there's this image in my mind

that none can define, an essence so divine

your seduction, so subtle and sublime

not seen with the eye; felt in your presence as though I was blind

those with visual desires; they seek only to acquire for a time

but as for I; my blind eye; turned inner vision

Watching you stroll; in and out of my dreams causing such cataclysms

mentally emotionally; all I can do is drool; lost in a daze

deer in the headlight gaze at you; got me all crazed

my love; since then you know when;

till the time the world ends even then

beyond that my friend...till eternity's end...

You are so divine

by Jelaco

Staring At the Wall

STARING AT THE WALL

As I sit here motionless; staring at the wall

I’m moved by her moans, groans;

Tones, into a seductive state of emotions

As I escalate to a erect state; my mind can’t escape

The nightly dreams of a waking state…

All I can do is wait, anticipate what I fantasize

With her, damn man, it’s killing me; all I can do is anticipate

As I sit here, alone listening to the…

Silence solid like ice; transparent to the ear

cracked by the vocal passion; of her screams in tears

of joy and ecstasy as her climax draws near

all I can do is sit here

damn I wish it was me in there

but at the wall I sit stare

imagining what I would never dare…

to take the leap of faith; cause I hesitate just in case

not the right time or the place to throw my hat into the race

for my pole position, in her place

given the situation; damn the complication

of wanting, desiring, yearning to be the one

second to none, but still coming up third

phuk it’s absurd, for my feeling s to be curbed

I must be out of my head; or mind while stuck

On stupid like chuck; what the phuk…I’m trippin

Wishin it was me instead of him mixing emotions

With flesh…maybe it’s destiny I guess

To be a friend at best…lmao…what a mess

Maybe I should give up on it all, cause

I’m lost to it all; sitting here staring at the wall...

Destiny: Life

Destiny: Life

I sit and ponder about things and wonder

When the sun rises, does it rise for me

To show me the beauty of my life; I wonder

Night stars a guiding light in darkness for I to see

This map of the universe; oh the days I curse

Lost in it’s eternity; because this map I can’t read

Missing the signs leading me back to the source

A life with you; how I should proceed

With the bumps in life’s road; causing me to fail

to be like the blind; who read life not with eyes

but with what they feel; like reading brail

only then can I prevail with everything I try

Trusting what I touch; believing what I feel

For; if common sense was just that

Common; then all life luster lost, with no appeal

This life to offer, nothing dynamic only static

I sit and ponder about things and wonder

When the sun rises, does it rise for me

To show me the beauty of my life; I wonder

Night stars a guiding light in darkness for me to see..
by Jelaco

Life Cycles

At age 5 everything was why
At 10 sought knowledge often
At 15 I knew everything it seemed
At 25 for parties I strive
At 40 nolonger 30 so it seems
At 55 life's lesson I now comprehend
At 65 try to pass on knowledge gained;
in vain to the youth but they know it all so it seems...

H.A.T.R.E.D.

H aving lost reason to emotion morphing

A nd resorting to a primitive state spewing

T houghts in ignorance no knowledge gained

R egrettable our actions causes such pain

E ndures on until love prevails and spreads;

D evouring the monster called…

I Embrace

I Embrace

…your hand, your heart, your love

This is what I embrace; with thoughts

Long but never forgotten, remembered

Not in his-story, but ms-story; the memory

I steal away in a crowded room amidst company

Unsuspecting thoughts lingering in the air

Chasing away my despair, knowing you’re there

Here with me as I sleep and weep

Thoughts of you into my dreams they creep

In the middle of the night soothing me

Dawn’s sunlight smiles on me a new day

No more tears, and that’s my reason why

Mi fe give yuh love to the day I die.

by Jelaco

Mental Warfare

I am what my mind tells me I am

Not what they say I am; perceptions

Conceptions; pieced together this being

Thoughts of others I’m not; rejections

Of their thoughts; the creation of me being

fantasies formed from images sounds and touch

That by osmosis they come to act upon as such

Making it their reality conscientiously or not.

Such arrogance they never thought

so it’s mental warfare that’s fought

over this state we create in our mind

not in our heart; emotionally blind

mentally deceived; no longer to reality we cleave

but to the imagination we create

not a state of mind but a state of being

never consulting our heart/soul as to life’s meaning.

by Jelaco

A LiL Tea Pot

I'm a little tea pot, here's my handle here's my spout..
I’ve guarded my heart because from the start
I’ve been let down; since I was knee high to my grandpa
Rest his soul, him and my grandma bless her heart
My values and spiritual awareness they instilled in me
Keeping me grounded even a whipping if need be

But through this life as I moved place to place
friendly faces they imitate what we seek to create
in our lives what we believe to be true
not with our mind; but our hearts we build upon
this is where we start to go wrong ending up
with the same old song. Instead of learning from the past
and applying it to the new; what do we do
We live our linear life perpetually; never growing or expanding
To infinity and beyond lol; instead we wish for a magic wand
To wave and shake at those that would make us angry and vex
Because of our own mistakes we make
idiosyncrasies that’s kept us from our potential; waiting on others intuition to guide us through our mess; someone’s gotta help I guess……

Someone said to ask God’s forgiveness…for my sins
LMAO…where should I begin? Born into sin the hand I was dealt
Forget his forgiveness; what’s needed is really his help
With what I can’t foresee to be for me eternally; Not to sin
But then again, who am I foolin
Life without him; spent wheeling and dealing
with barters and traders, of emotions and love
till the kettles boils and whistles on the stove.
I’m a little tea pot, here’s my handle here’s my spout…

Addictive Behavior

Addictive Behavior

Is what we savor because that’s all we know

as we grew and into this life we go; our wheels we spin

never understanding the “Family Of Origin”; all the while

The Lost Child; Keeping a low profile

Being Dependent; is how we’re most content

Or a Chief Enabler; - For those around us; making it better

A Family Hero; perfectionist never to be the zero

The Scape Goat; the load we always tote

A Mascot; never taken seriously cause with the jokes we never stop

Which part are you, in this family tree? The root, trunk, branch, or leaf, no matter your part; with you is where it starts you best believe

By beginning to see; with your mind’s eye; D.E.N.I.A.L.

(Doesn’t Even Notice It’s A Lie)

Then you begin to ask yourself why this addictive behavior I savor.

But why ask why when you D.E.N.Y. (Don’t Even Notice Yet)

How soon you forget

 the signs in the road that says “I told you so”

Yet and still we go of the beaten path with holes in our shoes

Hearts minds and souls bruised from Addictive Behavior you choose.

Then complain about the heartache/pain in your feet, back, neck.

We just laugh at you and say “what the heck;” did you expect

when you continually favor your Addictive Behavior!

Game Play

Game Play

What can I say, you keep it real; so you think

When you’re sitting there sinking in your thinking

Figuring your next move; trying to predict

Like a chess player; thinking moves ahead

Figuring your strategy; while maneuvering

In position for the kill; sharp wits come up with shit quick

Being aggressive or very coy; game play you enjoy

To get the cuchie licked or the stick wet

The game play makes me sick…

Even if you tell yourself that’s not so

With religious pretentious, Astrological philosophical

Interpretation of the situation is your persuasion

This I know all too well….trust!

All in all; in the end an orgasm a must

Even with emotional needs; games still precedes

The thrill of victory without the agony of defeat

Crossing the finish line; with game so sublime

It totally blows the mind;

With enthusiasm we play; convicted righteousness

Whether under the religious intent or social edict

No matter what the predicate; it’s still pathetic

So I can care less what anyone say

No matter how you slice it; it’s still game play…